All the dispute is bound to question one blog: "SEX AND SHANGHAI--Westen scoundrel tells all". This blog is like an British man's autobiography,which concretely describes his life in China---hanging out and sleepping with a bunches  of Chinese gilrs at the same time, while most of these girls are his students in famous universities in shanghai, such as FUDAN, TONGJI, SHANG WAI, and JIAOTONG uni.

 

Why China becomes westerns' heaven nowadays? Why those westerns who even do not have the ability to get a job in their own country can lead a pretty wealthy, comfortable and free life with both sex and self-esteem satisfaction in China?

 

Yes, they are from western country indeed, which are much more developed in many aspects than China. Their countries give them such kind of priority to have good lives in a developing country. We have to be aware of the truth that we pay for their lives here, if they are not  regarded as high-valued intelligences here so they won't get as many as today!

 

As we all know in a same company foreign employees' salaries are at least 2 times as Chinese's. They even leave in free and decent apartment provided by their Chinese companys. Our Chinese do treat them much too nice and friendly!

 

While on the other hand I do confess that foreign guys know how to grasp the heart of a girl, especially a Chinese girl, who is easily be blind in front of those beautiful dreams together bringing by foreign guys: such as chance to move overseas, wealthy life, handsome face, another culture and nationality, even more, bigger dicks.

 

I do confess that at least more than a half  of those girls have high degrees, enough knowlegde and capability to earn themselve a good life in China. Maybe the problem is they think they can not be satisfied by Chinese guys, in both material and psychological sense.

 

And I do confess, I admire life overseas. Maybe it was rooted so long ago, when I was 11 years old and began to watch Hollywood cartoons and listened to BSB and Britney Spears. And a large number of girls around me do the same thing, we never see Chinese TV series or movies, even Hongkong produced; barely use cellphones or laptops which are Chinese brand; seldom know the politics of our own society. One of my friend overseas even ever said: " I won't date Chinese guys all my life!" BTW, all of her  boyfriends are foreigners.

 

Now it's time for us to think about this issue much more clearly. If we really wanna choose foreign guys, we have to face much more barriers, we have to be cleverer when dating a foreign guy, we have to learn how to distinguish the real purpose of those foreigners in China, there's a huge difference between a sex buddy and a soul mate. And the chance from a sex buddy to a soul mate is nearly zero.

 

We are keeping trying so hard to learn English(see even my blog is written in English); we are keeping our dreams to go overseas; yes our young girls always welcome new and exotic things. But we have to be sensible, keeping the dreams, listening to our hearts, while also holding self-esteem and nation-pround, which are we have to choose to be a real Chinese.

 

 

刚刚快递送来了雅思的成绩，四门居然全是7！！真是没想到，听力和阅读拿这个分数倒是在意料之中，因为平时做基本稳定在7.5-8左右，但是考试当天时间把握地不好，再加上临时改错了2道题，考完了感觉就很差。但是作文和口语都能拿7我实在是没想到，因为考前我甚至没有完整地写过一篇大作文，小作文也只写了2，3篇；口语更是根本没有专门练过。

 

不管怎样这个分数还是很满足了。之前我都不敢上网查成绩，毕竟辛苦了十多天，还是有一定的压力存在。现在终于放轻松了。通过这个考试我发现自己的英语水平真是平均啊，不像大多数中国学生一般都是阅读比较强写作比较差。本来打算考完之后再写点感想什么的，但是熬到现在也没有心思再写了，总之英语学习对我来说还是一件很快乐的事，虽然大强度的应考非常辛苦，不过通过这个阶段积累下来的东西一般都比较扎实，属于过目不忘的那种。

 

最后预祝要留学的兄弟姐妹们的烤鸭之路一帆风顺！

I have a deep thought these days. After a long conversation with a close friend and contemplating my life all these years I finally find out I shoule relax more.

 

Most of the time I am to much strict to myself and order myself to accomplish a lot and without a stop. I have been around with great boys and girls all these years, which push me to never be slow. I have to confess I hope to perfect myself, balance every aspects in life: I do care about my face and figure while at the same time I am also running so fast to consolidate my job and study; I tried so hard to get as many "A"s as possible to be an outstanding student whilt at the same time I attended dancing team to did shows in my spare time; I have been doing my best to get males' appreciation and make females love being with me; I tried so hard to be nice in front of teachers and bosses(I can totally be a submissive girl when I was in office but I still can change my role when I appeared in night clubs).

 

All the time I have been working so hard since I entered my primary school. I didn't met huge troubles all these 21 years in my career and study cause I am really doing well. However, love, relationships are not that easy, it's not a game which means the same with "1 plus 1 equal 2", it's a game that "real heart" plus  "time" plus " efforts" might just equal nothing!

 

I am too much self-consicious to some extent  while I do care a lot about what are others thinking of me. I have been so cautious most of the time, I never share my personal stuffs with more than 5 people; I never write my relationship on blog; I never let others know who I am dating recently. I became more and more cautious after more and more lessons. Only you can protect and rescue yourself. Anything about " hero" is just bullshit.

 

I do pay some for being a young girl, which I will never forget all my life. What I have to remember now is I should try to relax, try to enjoy the process but not paying so much attention on the results. Things will turn to be alright finally. Reload all the burdens which I added to myself all these years.

 

Never date guys who are younger, unless you wanna be a babysitter; Never believe guys if he offers you too much expensive things for the first time, cause you have to pay more for what you get later; Never be rude to others but still point out his /her weakness if necessary.

 

Just try to relax. Enjoy life. Bravely go for the dreams without so many concerns. Smile, smile and smile everyday.

 

被爸爸妈妈抛弃的第五天。今天晚上突然有点睡不着。于是又去骚扰WT。不论我什么心情的时候总是可以找到他。他总是会很及时地回复我。不管他说什么，我都觉得很宽慰。

 

每天MSN上都有很多个对话框在闪动。可现实世界彻底只留下我一个人。消费和夜生活对我来说都已经没有意义，取而代之的是每日温习美剧剧本和阅读欧洲通史。

 

最后的十五天。脑海中还是有很多关于上海割舍不下的东西。偶然间进去传院的网站，看到关于我们毕业的新闻，和那些照片，两个多月前的场景又出现了。网上碰到还留在GE的朋友，那八个月的记忆又开始历历在目起来。

 

但是也绝不能再挣扎去北京的问题。假如这就是命运的话，两年历练以后我想我会有机会回到那个曾经让我精彩的城市过着更加精彩的生活。

 

和多年未见的初中好友又聊到感情。说实话已经很久没有去思考这个问题，以至于面对她咄咄逼人的疑问我真的有些答不上来。缘分等等都是既苍白又深刻的真理，唯有等待，内心平静的等待。

 

渐渐习惯独处的日子。对于男人而言，“若是英雄怎能不懂寂寞”；对于现今的女人，即便不做英雄，亦是不能不懂寂寞。

 

后记:第二天出门理发，发型师可真够倒霉的遇到火气够大的我，其实剪得不是很差但还是被我骂了个狗血淋头...对不起了，姐姐最近比较变态...要赶快恢复阳光的心情：）

 

十年前当《新周刊》在小小的三九集团的扶持下颤颤巍巍诚惶诚恐地走进传媒圈的时候，我还只是个11岁的小学毕业生。回过头来看，“创刊号的”《新周刊》就以缔造和发展新中国的两大伟人作为封面，并喊出了“中国可以说不”这样颇有气势的口号，从某种程度上已经是它作为一本时事周刊新锐之路的开始。

 

而回顾自己和它的缘分要追溯到02年刚上大学的时候。印象中自己买的第一期是关于上海的一个专题，因为来了上海所以开始关注一切和上海有关的媒体报道。此后《新周刊》对上海的热爱便如滔滔江水般延绵不绝，几乎每期必有关于上海的报道。这个城市的时尚圈。传媒圈。名利场......《新周刊》都密切关注着。建筑，艺术，选秀，秀场，会展......几乎每期的《新周刊》中都有这些典型上海标记存在。

 

可以不夸张地说《新周刊》于我而言是带领我开始思考社会思考人生的引路人，尽管其间的很多观点在逐渐成熟了之后再来看会有自己更为理性的判断。就好比能够在当局者和旁观者的身份之间穿梭一般。但是《新周刊》带领我开始以自己的目光审视自己和生活中的一切。而后我生活中的很多变化和趋势，都和《新周刊》中所描述和预测的几乎一致。

 

《新周刊》十周年创刊号标题为“一本杂志和一个时代的体温”，在我看来，《新周刊》在过去十年中所关注的话题以及所缔造的新名词，基本可以囊括在以下六大概念当中：

 

1. 中产

《新周刊》毫无疑问是中产者的乐园，它将“中产”的口号喊得最响亮。实质上，《新周刊》从创刊至现在的所有话题都是为中产以及即将成为中产的人们量身定做。从这个意义上来讲说它是一本时事周刊则显得有些牵强。所有的时事交给《新周刊》都夹杂了时尚的意味，通过事件和现象总结规律最后引出概念缔造新名词一贯是它的拿手好戏，所以社会学领域的女权主义被她变成了“她世纪”，城市规划学领域的城郊建房被它变成了“第三空间”，“知道分子”，“飘一代”，“INF”......，本已倍受关注的社会现象在《新周刊》的包装之下被再次放大，成为时代的注脚。而这些现象，无一例外和中国中产的产生有着不可忽视的联系。

 

2. 城市名片论

《新周刊》另一看家法宝。中国几乎稍有特色的城市都被它贴上了各种各样的标签：成都被直接封为北京，上海和广州之外的“第四城”；昆明因其悠闲的生活和丰富的旅游资源被曰为“体验之都”；第四直辖市重庆也终于可以在成都之后露一露脸，且“第N城”的封号赐予其无限可能性。《新周刊》关于城市的专题层出不穷，到现在城市评论和城市体验类文章已经成为《新周刊》每餐必上的当家菜。很多人担心它迟早会资源枯竭，无概念可造，没关系，中国还有那么多个城市呢。

 

3. 消费主义

在中国，消费主义热潮和中产的渐渐崛起几乎是同一时间。在《新周刊》的话题当中，消费主义的影子随处可见，它介绍最新型的轿车，它大篇幅报道来自奢华之国摩纳哥的“上海私人奢侈品展览”，它不会拉下任何精彩的秀场和派对活动，关于欧洲的一期专题甚至直接用了“消费欧洲”的大标题。它关注人们可以消费的一切：名牌衣饰，高档轿车，美食，异国旅游，社交，高科技......字里行间不乏理性的思考但大体上是在构建着有些幻想式的中产消费蓝图，提供给人们以可以意淫的资源。

 

4. 全球化

一个近乎泛滥的字眼。但不得不承认全球化给我们带来了乐趣。早在03年的时候《新周刊》就做过一期“你怎么看美国”的专题，全面剖析了美国和当代中国以及当代中国人的互动关系。也许中国的年轻人们还没有意识到早在5年前他们就已经彻底活在美国的文化中，看美国连续剧和电影，听美国流行音乐，吃麦当劳肯德基，为考G考T而头破血流。如今美国不再是人们心目中唯一的梦想地，但它所输出到全球的文化所带来的根深蒂固的影响，估计半个世纪都难以磨灭。而对于美国最大的劲敌日本和西欧，《新周刊》也曾多次涉及，更多的是从时尚文化的角度。今天我们可以看到，在反日情绪的另一面中国涌现出越来越多自诩“日韩系”的少男少女，而欧洲古老的艺术气息和皇室文化使得越来越多的中国人趋之若鹜。日本，韩国和欧洲的确提供给了我们更加丰富多元的文化消费选择，可我们又不禁困惑，文化的全球化到了中国为什么变成了只进不出的单向运动?全球化的背后，《新周刊》思索地更多的是我们自己的Culture Identity.

 

5. 唯“榜”独尊

“榜”文化在《新周刊》这里得到了最大限度的发扬光大：城市榜，年度新锐榜，年终大盘点，电视节目榜，热门旅游胜地榜......榜单和排名是一种最直观的话语方式。而十年下来，《新周刊》在这个领域的权威和它创新的一贯作风也让人不再怀疑它榜单的权威性。

 

6. 情感与两性

从98年开始《新周刊》第一次开始涉猎两性与情感的话题，目前已经变为每年情人节的必备菜品。从98年的“我爱你”到00年的“爱情之死”再到03年的“摘下面具立即爱”再到06年的“保卫爱情”，它一步步见证着“爱情”在物质，压力，欲望面前一步步沦陷的过程。我们有了空前期待财富的可能性但却失去了期待爱情的任何可能性。反之唾手可得的是“调情”和“一夜情”，夜店秀场KTV网络都给我们提供了无数“只爱陌生人”的机会，可通往真爱的大门也随之无法挽救地慢慢关闭。我们在越来越多的“一夜情”，“婚外情”，“同性情”面前迷茫，这个社会已经被太多的超前观念喂肥以至于撑破了从前的道德外衣。“夜夜笙歌却真爱难觅”的故事一日日在每一个城市中上演着。爱情现实的变化直接导致着人们生活方式的改变，于是“女人生猛”，“背上背包去远足”，“中国压力报告”等等话题衍生于单身贵族泛滥的当代中国。

 

近几年来《新周刊》的软化趋势进一步明显，连续三年之内再也没有出现过“国企改革”之类的时政性话题，取而代之的是越来越多关于生活方式的探讨：人们如何阅读，如何打发闲暇时间，如何旅游，如何社交，如何工作，如何在名利场中拼得你死我活。“中产”依然是不折不扣的主角，所谓“一本杂志和一个时代的体温”也许只是“一本杂志和一代中产的体温”。它对于城市和中产的关注使得它的读者可能对中国最大比例的阶层-农民阶层和中国最严峻的其他社会问题一无所知。当然，“中产”对我们而言是最有可能企及的一种状态，当一个中产，有一些资本有一些梦想有一些希冀，但还是要脚踏实地地生活。《新周刊》让我在生活的常态中去梦想，去思考，去感悟，和这个时代一起成长，它见证的是我人生最重要的四年中思想的轨迹。

 

 

 

过去的近二十天让我变得无欲无求，原来从partygirl到houselady的过程也可以这么地自然。不知不觉中，就从一种状态到了另一种状态。于是偶尔，就开始怀疑从前的那种状态，开始揣测自己从前的心理和意图，可由于已经离开那种状态很远，便常常百思不得其解。

 

终于又回到了假期刚开始的时候。这个夏天的成都出奇地闷热，长时间的蛰伏逼出了告别我许久的痘痘和热伤风。哪里也不想去。想做的也只有阅读和游泳而已。想要以最好的状态开始新的生活，从外在到内在都是。独居的时间变得越来越长，长到跟朋友打电话时都会出现舌头打结的状况。穿梭于喧嚣之中时，觉得喧嚣的背后是寂寞；独自体会寂寞时，才可以慢慢感觉自己内心的变化。

 

The " Inner world-strengthen-process " really takes time. As we turn back to contemplate those days we had already left behind, we start trying to grasp the power of time.

 

“加油好男儿”彻底变成了一场游戏大众的闹剧。偶像也好，感动也好，疯狂也好，鲜花也好，泪水也好，掌声也好。舞台落幕的那一刻，就是它们成为历史的开端。

 

这一切终将过去。我们也终将在新生活中没心没肺地忘了那些旧生活。

很偶然地凌晨2点半还未入眠。长时间的蛰伏让我有些虚弱了。眼睛始终有些充血，还时不时冒冷汗。这个过程是很痛苦且艰辛的，我一早就有思想准备。很早很早以前我就知道自己是个喜欢自我折磨的人。

 

父亲大人留下四千大洋便去了九寨沟度假。看着一直想要买的Sony Ericsson W800C 我突然没有任何感觉。前天无比压抑的时候跑上街去买了一罐超大的佰草集面膜。现在看到堆在梳妆台上的瓶瓶罐罐突然觉得很无奈。衣柜里的一大堆衣服也让我无所适从。我开始怀疑自己，原来的自己，一直都是靠这这些活下去的吗？

 

听MP3听到我耳朵都发麻。每天中午自己做饭，有的时候做好了摆在桌上，却会突然间没有了吃的欲望。

 

慢慢地又逛到晓晨的BLOG。上面的英文歌都很好听。5号之后我就一直没有再提“好男儿”这个比赛，从晓晨的离开彻底看清了一些什么，确切说是彻底明确了很多其实早就明白的事情。

 

关于“锋芝恋”一直想写些什么。我想自己应该是感动和折服于张柏芝的真实和勇气。犹如我一贯喜爱的真性情，除了柏芝，还有J.LO, Angelina Jolie, 以及一直很热爱的静蕾。纷繁芜杂的世界最难看到的就是一点真，娱乐圈尤其如此。在这个繁花似锦的斗秀场中人人都有着惊为天人的容貌，那么如若要让人心生特殊的喜欢，一定是由了外貌之外的很多其他。看着她们，再看着自己随年华逝去慢慢流走的“真”，心中生出无限宽慰和怜惜。兴许有一天，自己也可以慢慢拣回我的真。

 

祝福“锋芝”。我想或许我真的也需要有一个人站在我身旁，不用任何的言语，而只需感觉他的温暖。

 

It's so sad. 晓晨博客上最好听的一首歌。正衬了我今夜零碎的心情。

Everyday going over one episode of SATC's play book has become my joyful habit. The most striking and impressive words appear in the last episode, while Carrie soliloquizing on the fifth avenue, still the key word " relationship":

 

" There are those that open you up to something new and exotic... those that old and familiar...those that bring up lots of questions...those that bring you somewhere unexpected...those that bring you far from where you started...and those that bring you back.

 

 

Well, that's just fabulous."